Interview
by MAB LuvR
Summary: Jou makes small talk... on national TV...


INTERVIEW ­­-- CELEBRITY KNOCKOUT

Ah, graduation. It's the time in your life you are very proud of; things you've accomplished, trophies you've earned, the friends you've made along the way, the memories you made for yourself. And after that, you celebrate by with a party party PARTY!

You know, I barely graduated high school. I didn't celebrate with a party, oh NO; not in my chaotic way of living. Nope. I celebrated with a hotshot producer of music who decided sending someone with a **gun** to tie me down to a chair so we can chit-chat will be just DANDY with me.

It's a good thing that I like the music Seguchi Tohma makes.

"Well, straight to the point, here's the offer I'm willing to give you. I would like to hire you as the host of a show I've been planning for a while now. It's nothing special as it will just be about you giving news."

I already didn't like it. No offence to newspeople, but I really don't like the idea that I have to keep up with news every single second of every hour for my life. I told him that I'm gonna pass on that offer, but somehow...

...the conversation dragged on long enough for me to reconsider the offer.

"How about a deal; I come to work for a week, see how everything goes, and decide myslef if I want to do it. Can you take that?"

"I suppose for now, it will do. But I really do hope that you stay."

And after that week, I did. Crew's all great with me, food for the people on the set is _edible_, and wasn't your everyday news that I got to cast on TV. For about an hour, I play host to a some big time celebrity with whatever it is s/he will be featured on that people 'must see' or argue over a political issue that has great importance.

And the salary is anything but poor. I'm being paid to talk and speak my opinions to others on NATIONAL television for around 6000 dollars in US currency PLUS a 5000 dollar bonus every year! Even though I work on every other hour, I swear Mr. Seguchi must be overpaying me because my yearly salary is over 10 million. Nice wallet change, huh?

"JOOOOOOOOOOOU-NOOOOOOOOOOU-CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! Jounouchi! Jounouchi! Jounouchi!" In case you're wondering, that's Shuichi, lead singer of Bad Luck. He's got personal connections to the President of Music himself so whenever he comes around--which is always--he gives the lowdown of what'll go on the show to me. "You're gonna be so excited! I just know you are!"

Apparently, this show will be half-an-hour longer special with varying questions from the audience. Must be a huge celebrity if Shuichi was just bouncing off the walls trying to keep the identity a secret.

"You love Duel Monsters, right?"

Here's my question; will the good Lord take me now?

"Please tell me it's not Pegasus!" You wouldn't want him on the set either after what he pulled! Last time he was here, he brought Playboy Bunny girls AND guys. Not only that, but he had them start stripping on the show for absolutely no reason at random times! I saw my face on every gossip cover there was for the next two weeks! I'm surprised I even survived that experience, let alone live, with all the people Pegasus brought taking off their very little clothing either:

A) in front of me

or

B) on my lap

or

C) that horrid moment when they _all tied me down to my chair and try to_ _seduce me!_

"Shuichi, please tell me it's not him! I don't want to go through anything that obsessed Funny Bunny creature will throw at me! LITERALLY!" I was on my knees and succeeding at cutting off his circulation going to his legs to emphasize my point. "Please, buddy, please!"

"Don't worry about that! This person is much more attractive and way less porn-open than that loony." I got up and sighed in relief. There is a God! Or at least somebody up there who likes me.

"Plus, I hear that he's one of the very best duelists."

"Does he beat my ranking?" I boasted. I know for a fact that there are only two people in this universe that can beat me--one certain King of Games; the other is a wealthy psycho running the big business.

"Pretty sure. Kaiba did host the Battle City tourney thing didn't he? ACK! I just sai--"

"**_THAT POWER HUNGRY, HELL BENT TO BE A PAIN IN THE ASS, CEO OF A BASTARD IS COMING HERE!_**"

Did I say somebody up there like me? Sorry, I meant God appointed Satan to run my life from the very depths of hell along with Fate whose got one fucked up sense of humor. I just know it.

"The mutt can howl an accurate description of his master even after 10 years."

Yep, somewhere Satan and Fate are laughing it up.

I turn around and there he is in all his self-centered glory. White long sleeved dress shirt with the cuffs not buttoned and long slim looking slacks. His hair is in the same perfect style as always. Those eyes of his haven't lost their color or intensity either.

"Doesn't take more than a minute to know that's what you are like. Plus, you'd never change a fiber of your egotistic self for anything, much less _anyone_."

He smirks that smirk I hate so much. "Another thing the mutt got right? You deserve a treat for overworking your nonexistent brain."

"Why I outta--"

"Jounouchi, you know Kaiba Seto?" Oops, forgot that Shuichi was here.

"Yea, Shuichi, I know," I turn my back towards the bitch's face and point my thumb in that direction, "the biggest loser ever known to walk this earth despite what anybody says."

I hear a low growling sound from him. "Keep your dirty mouth in check mutt." Even though I can't see him, I know those eyes of his have narrowed by his tone of voice.

"Like you aren't dirty yourself, bastard."

"Watch it or you'll be in crutches for a week."

I face him and walk to where he is; is he suggesting that I'll lose in a fight against him?

"Jou--"

"I'd like to see you try that you pussy."

"Kai--"

"I'd be more than glad to."

"YOU'RE ON IN 15!" Shuichi screamed in our ears.

Kaiba does nothing but curve that mouth of his into a smirk I know all too well. "Plenty of time to pain the pup's ass."

Boy, do I wanna smack that jerk in the----

"12… 11… 10… 9… 8…"

"What, now!?"

"In 5..."

"Camera A, over here with the bastard and me walking over to our seats!"

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Not my usual work, but no one has ever done this. Plus 5 more chapters to go along with a special end-chap bonus!

See that pretty little button? Click it and send a review. :D


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